So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think i have herpe
just one?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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