I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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