I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
