i barfeds in our rink
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
