dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
