Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
