Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
