if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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