Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
