They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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