Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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