but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
