i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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