Soap is not a condiment
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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