im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize