I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
