dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
