he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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