Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so let's talk penis.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
