you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
