Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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