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He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
