I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
