Jerry, you need to find god
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize