Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
