My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Be still, my beating vagina.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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