I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
