I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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