Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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