He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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