I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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