false alarm. still invincible.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
