i think my tv is drunk
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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