i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
