she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
