Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
