I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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