windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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