True but thats because hes a fetus.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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