sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
