I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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