with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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