something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
