pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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