youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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