are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
