Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
