I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
