left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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