you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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