You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
