And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
