just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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