I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just had sex on a roof
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
