I don't think brook has ever known best
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
