why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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