Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
