You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
