I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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