You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize