I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
