So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Green mimosas i think yes
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sorry about my life...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
