dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
