When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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