I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
