my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
