Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
