Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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