Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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