woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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