Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
