Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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