just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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