Nicole vs. Life
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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