chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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