Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
