oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
