party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
