is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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