Yo dont text me then not text me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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